Should I Stay Or Should I Go?
I have counselled a lot of people over the years in terms of their decision to move permanently to New Zealand and I can tell you that based on that experience, you can almost feel the weight of the decision as people weigh up the pros and cons. Uprooting yourself from your home, job, schools, family, friends and life to then try and recreate or reinvent (whatever your aim is) that in another country is a herculean undertaking.
That decision can be even more complex when trying to wade through the endless social media commentary from those who have done so previously - some successfully and some not so much. In my experience, those who succeed at making the move are too busy enjoying their new life to complain about it and those that failed, are often (not always) the ones who started the process for the wrong reasons and were equally ill-prepared.
For what it is worth, I do have some advice to share and the irony of doing so online, given my earlier comments about social media, havent escaped me but I hope that these suggestions provide some practical advice to anyone tossing up the big migration decison.
Firstly (and most importantly) no one can convince you to migrate, no matter how close they are to you or how much you value their opinion. Migration is a deeply personal decision and needs to be made based on your own goals, aspirations and situation. Your best friend who made the move last year might be begging you to pack your bags and jump ship but that shouldn’t be the reason you do. Moving yourself or your family is a decision that has to be made independently of anyone else. You should absolutely ask for advice but ultimately the decison to move has to be yours.
I used to stand in front of crowds of would-be migrants and tell them that, as a couple, if you can survive this process and make the move together you will never part, which often received more laughs than any of my other jokes - but in reality it is a serious point. If your are moving country to rescue a strained relationship, thinking a fresh start might be a good idea, think that one through carefully. I am no marriage counsellor but moving is stressful and adding stress to an already stressful situation is never a good idea.
Get everyone involved if you can and that means including the children in the process. They may not be the ones making the decisions but the more they know and are involved in the process, the more excited they can be about the idea. It is tough on them, but thankfully children adapt to their new surroundings very quickly. Let them do their own research, make their own plans and take an active role in the process, which makes it easier to share the ups and the downs.
Be realistic about your move. Many people are either coming here to find something (a new lifestyle, better work or education opportunities, reuniting with a partner) or are trying to escape something (hopefully not the police). There are always pull and push factors and they will vary greatly depending on which country you are leaving and they are important in terms of your decision to leave, but just make sure they reconcile with your own longer-term goals. It is admirable to want to move your children to a country where they will have better future prospects but if you are miserable as a consequence the negatives can outweigh the positives.
Do the maths on whether this is financially viable and if it is make sure you do it right the first time around. Migrating is expensive, regardless of where you are coming from and you have to be realistic about your ability to afford the move, whilst being able to lead the kind of life you want when you get here. The first key step in that is making sure you are in fact eligible to move and that the money you invest in to the process is money well spent. The reality is, not everyone can afford to move and it’s better to realise that sooner rather than later.
Finally - don’t believe the hype. Good or bad, their always be plenty of opinion or newsmedia relating to your destination of choice that will either encourage your or dissuade you but remember things constantly change, particularly in the current climate. Research the fundamentals to determine if your choice of country (we hope it is NZ) offers you the right things to meet whatever goal you are trying to meet or plans you have.
Coming full circle, remember the decision to migrate is yours and yours alone and if you decide that it is not right for you - that’s okay (even if your friends tell you that you are mad). If you decide to take the leap, do so with confidence and make sure you plan ahead and prepare.
If you decide to make New Zealand home then hopefully we can assist with the journey.
